mood: I wish I was drunk. music: Pure silence. It's nice.

So yeah...single is cool too.
I mean fuck. I don't have time to wallow.

School.
Well that's it.
School isn't really that bad.
I have a badass schedule and a lot of classes with a lot of my friends...which has never happened before.
My locker keeps getting taken away though.
My lock gets taken off every hour. I protest. Fuck em.

Nothing really new has happened. Same shit, different day basically.

I'm going up north this weekend though. Woot.

Ahh...Baby D got a car. Well, an Explorer to be exact. We took it off roading tonight...got stuck in sand. It was great though.

I've been feeling really sick lately. I'd like to know what's up, cuz it sucks. I start every year off with a bang...I'm always sick the first week. I'm surprised I haven't skipped yet. But since Amanda is in my fifth hour, at least I know I'll always have someone to skip with, which is pretty cool, and yet shitty at the same time. She convinces me to skip more than I plan. Damn.

Well I'm going to bed. I went to sleep as soon as I got home from school, at like 3...didn't wake up till 8...left at 9, back at 11 and I'm ready for bed again. Now tell me that there's nothing wrong with me. Fuck...

<3Back to Normal.

mood: grateful music: little moments...i had a lot of those today.

...

You know...I have two of the bestest friends in the world. I wouldn't trade either one of them for anything.
Eric...you came through, and don't think you owed it to me. No one has showed me that they care about me as much as you do, and you've always looked out for me and I adore that. We've always been at that understanding with eachother that whatever happens, we will still always be there for eachother and it shows. I have so much to thank you for because no matter what, you always seem to be on top of things, and you always show me what I'm missing. You know that the favor will always be returned to you and that you can call me if ever there is a time of doubt for you. I'm always here, and I appreciate that you are always there for me.
And Scott...
We've been through hell and back...like a million times. But still, no one has looked after me as you do. Under the circumstances, you are like fucking blood to me...you're just one of the family. I mean hell...look how happy my family gets when they see you...they aren't even like that for me. No one knows me like you do. But in the past what...like 4 months that we haven't even talked, things are turning around and you are yet again someone who seems to always have my back. I hope that our friendship lasts, because we still have many years ahead of us, and many more good times to be had. Thank you for looking out for me. You make me feel safe and carefree. You and Eric mean the world to me, and without the two of you tonight, I don't know what I would have done.
You two are like my brothers...and I love you both.

Whew, now that that's said and done...
Tonight was hell for a little bit. Until my "bros" came to the rescue. I'm grateful to have these guys in my life.

Things will work out in the end. I know it. Everything will eventually not be so hectic and everything will be straight. Before, when I was asked what my priorities were I didn't know. But I now know what it is that has to be done, and I'm getting there. I opened up tonight and realized the things that are holding me back, and starting now, I'm letting go of those things.
Starting with...
That day...the one day that is burned in my memory and will never be forgotten...well I can't let it keep me down anymore. I'm sick of dwelling in the past, and I have to let it go. All of it.
So for the sake of new beginnings...I will say this.

FUCK OFF.

I'd like to start off with that mentality. I think it will get me places.

And to all those standing in my way...

GET FUCKED.

:)

But I will say this...this day...today...will forever be burned in my memory. I won't let this one go...it wasn't one of the best days ever, but it definately will be something to remember.

So I will be going to bed a happy girl tonight.
Goodnight.

And I hope this is not 'good'bye.

mood: happy music: jew

When you're on, I swear you're on.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
I think the whole room can hear me clear my throat.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
Then out of nowhere, put me right back there.
Rip my heart out, you rip my heart right out.
And we know what happens when we get to your house.
Rip my heart out, you'll rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
I throw away everything I've written you.
Oh anything just keep my mind off of it, thinking how I had you once.
No, I can't forget that.
Sometimes I wish I could loose you again.
You're winning me over with everything you say.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
When I let you closer, I only want you closer.
You rip my heart right out.
You rip my heart right out.
If you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, please don't, tell me now.
Yeah, if you still care at all, don't go, tell me now.
If you love me at all, don't call.
If you love me at all..

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

The time I would spend with pictures I would not send.
I watched you go from left to right.
I followed you all night across my blinds.
You'll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me.
You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.
I'm making my peace, making it with distance.
Maybe that's a big mistake.
You know I'm thinking of you.
I miss you.
You'll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me.
You'll take your steps away with hesitance.
You'll take your steps away from me.
You'll change your mind come monday and turn your back on me.
Take your steps away with hesitance.
Take your steps away from me.

This is the only CD that I listened to the entire time I was at the Falls.
It is now my favorite.
This is to me what Dashboard is to Slocum.
Hmm.

This week though has been great.
When I got home yesterday...
Ryan came over to see me with Danielle.
I was so happy.
It was nice.
We went and played pool, and I must say that he lied to me when he said he wasn't that good. Asshole.
But then today he came over early and we went iceskating...which was a sight, because I've iceskated once before in my life...and then he took me out for a belated Birthday lunch at Red Robin's. I enjoyed his company, and I'm very happy that he is home. :)

And I got to see a lot of people today. I saw Paul, then Rob and Justin...which it has been a hell of a long time since I've seen the both of them. Then I saw Andy for a little bit...and on top of it I talked to Jared today for a little bit. I haven't associated with any of them in a while, on account of me disappearing for a while...and it was nice to see and talk to them.

But me, Ryan and Mark all have a game of pool to get going here soon, so after we have my dad's belated birthday cake...that's where I'll be.
I love it :)

So...
GoodDay. :)